Somewhere in the world, a genius builds a machine to bring mankind closer to God. Somewhere in time, another genius builds a cathedral with a mind of its own. Somewhere on the road, three searchers race a serial killer to find the man with the key to salvation. It takes the sound and fury of Day 9 to bring them all together. If God took six days to make the world and rested on Day 7, humanity has spent Day 8 tearing it all apart. Everything changes on Day 9, when we get it right at any cost…or lose everything. On Day 9, a God’s-eye view of the world collides with the visions of a living, breathing cathedral in a war between the delusions of yesterday and the dreams of tomorrow. A war between beauty and mediocrity…love and hate…madness and sanity…life and death. If the unlikely heroes in the heart of the storm can’t face down their own demons, the deepest secrets of maniacs and murderers could bring the hope of the future crashing down forever. Don't miss this edgy, exciting, surprising, and thought-provoking thriller in the tradition of Tim Burton, the Coen Brothers, Thomas Pynchon, and Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. It’s the latest novel from award-winning storyteller Robert Jeschonek, a master of unique and unexpected fiction that packs a punch.
Sixteen-year-old Charlie West has nowhere left to turn. A cyberstalker named Conscience has made her life a nightmare, bullying her by remote control. But in Charlie’s darkest hour, she discovers Nil, a radical underground movement using guerilla tactics to crush the worst bullies around. Charlie joins Nil and works high-risk missions, taking down bullies while playing a deadly cat-and-mouse game with her stalker. But when a trusted ally betrays Nil from within, Charlie must stand alone against Conscience...and her high-stakes war against the ultimate bully might just force her to make the ultimate sacrifice. Don't miss this story by award-winning young adult writer Robert Jeschonek, a master of unique and unexpected books that really pack a punch.
Jonah Ivory has a family tree crawling with vampires. Guided by the sexy paranormal genealogist Stanza Miracolo, he must dig up his family's twisted roots to crack an ancient conspiracy and beat the forces of darkness to a lost paradise. As Stanza traces Jonah's undead family tree, she brings him and his cousin Mavis face to face with one vampire ancestor after another. In a wild hunt around the world, they search for the shocking answers to an ancient mystery, all while fighting for their lives against bloodsucking enemies who attack from the shadows. Even with a vampiric Shakespeare and King Arthur on their side, can Stanza and Jonah win an eternal war between ancestors and descendants for possession of a heaven stolen by sin? Don't miss this thrilling and romantic vampire epic now available from Pie Press. Award-winning fantasy writer Robert Jeschonek will take you on a tour of the secret vampire empire that thrives all around us...and rises up to take our world by storm in a blood-drenched crimson tide.
Sexy private eye Gaia Charmer brings new meaning to the words "Earth Angel." This mysterious (and bipolar) bombshell has the power of the Earth itself at her fingertips, but the murder of her best friend knocks her world off its axis. Out for blood on the killer’s trail, Gaia and a tough-as-nails rock hound sheriff must overcome Landkind--a secret society of movers and shakers with the hearts and minds of landforms (mountains, rivers, islands, etc.)--and a vicious enemy with the key to her true identity. She risks everything to reclaim her legacy as Mother Earth in human form. A woman with the weight of the world on her shoulders in more ways than one. Don't miss this edgy, exciting, and surprising paranormal urban fantasy by award-winning storyteller Robert Jeschonek, a master of unique and unexpected fantasy that really packs a punch.
Where do superstars go when they die? A special Heaven, of course, where the music and parties go on forever. But when Stag the movie star gets there, he soon discovers that all is not as it seems. Hidden horrors lurk around every corner, and every angel has a devil inside. Worst of all, a deadly menace brews in Heaven's heart, a force of pure evil about to turn both Heaven and Earth into full-on, blistering hells. When Stag learns the truth, he teams up with the greatest dead rock stars, rappers, and movie stars to take on the danger rocketing toward them...but do they stand a chance of stopping it? Angels and devils clash in an apocalyptic struggle that shakes the foundations of reality. Shocking secrets and mysteries collide, casting aside all the lies in a final conflict that could tear down Heaven and Earth...or forge a dazzling, surprising destiny in the hands of Stag and his band of superstar rebels. Don't miss this exciting novel by award-winning storyteller Robert Jeschonek, a master of hard-hitting science fiction and fantasy that really packs a punch.
What if you could have someone legally declared a dick? Simon Bellerophon does just that! When pain in the butt Horne Shaw pushes him too far, Simon sues to have him branded a dick...and wins, in the craziest court case ever. But that's just the beginning of this out-there, in-your-face comedy. If you love TV shows like Family Guy and South Park or websites like Funny Or Die, you'll love Dick By Law. Don't miss this crazy novel by award-winning storyteller Robert Jeschonek, a master of unique and unexpected comedy that really packs a punch.
Who killed Polish Lou, the famous Prince of Polka Music? His daughter, musicologist Lottie Kachowski, comes home to the polka heartland of New Krakow, Pennsylvania, to find the answer. Lottie has an unbeatable talent for using music to solve crimes, and she does just that on the trail of her father's killer. But the stakes turn deadlier than ever when another polka legend comes to a tragic end. As the danger rises, Lottie recruits her father's wacky girlfriend, Polish Peg, to help her dig deeper into the wild world of small town polka. The investigation takes some fancy footwork, as Lottie dances her way through a maze of local rivalries and alliances to unearth the darkest secrets of friends and neighbors. At the same time, she fights to keep from getting dragged back into the polka scene she left behind long ago, though her father's will names her his successor as head of his polka empire. Ducking her legacy while catching a killer is the challenge of a lifetime, but with help from Polish Peg, an old boyfriend, and a mysterious cat called Ghost, Lottie might just stand a chance of cracking the case. She puts everything on the line, even as the killer puts her in his sights, and she won't give up. Because when you've got polka in your blood, you just know the bad guy's going to face the music. Don't miss this thrilling tale from the master of mystery, Robert Jeschonek. Expect the unexpected in the first book in the Lottie Kachowski series.
Joe the small-town pot dealer is down on his luck. Broke, evicted, and framed for a rip-off he didn't commit, he loses everything, from his precious stash to his jerk of a best friend. It's time to turn over a new leaf or get smoked. But can Joe clean up his act, get a job, and keep a girlfriend without falling back into his old habits? Can he replace getting high with getting a higher purpose in life? Sweet dreams of the sweet leaf might just seduce him back to his chronic old ways.
How can a teenage girl who’s afraid of the water become queen of a kingdom above and beneath the sea? Raised on savage Shark Island, Cryssa Seachild escapes to her true home, a tropical Camelot protected by talking dolphin knights in shining armor. A dolphin knight named Seek helps Cryssa overcome her fear of the water and forge a new destiny as queen of land and sea...but Cryssa struggles with her dual heritage, torn between the ways of dolphins and sharks. When the people of Shark Island spring a trap to steal back Cryssa, her world explodes in a war between armies of human warriors and sea creatures. Cryssa must risk everything to end the war single-handedly, save the dolphin knight she loves, and forge a brighter tomorrow for the clashing kingdoms. A thrilling fantasy of adventure, love, coming of age, and talking dolphins by award-winner Robert Jeschonek, author of the young readers' novel My Favorite Band Does Not Exist.
In these pages, Robert Jeschonek will take you on a tour of the wildest places and people you've never imagined. Don't miss these 18 edgy, exciting, and surprising science fiction tales from award-winning Star Trek and Doctor Who author Robert Jeschonek, a master of unique and unexpected science fiction that really packs a punch. This volume includes 18 stories originally published in Six Scifi Stories volumes 1-3. All 18 of these scifi stories and novelettes are available here for one low price: "The Greatest Serial Killer in the Universe," "The Love Quest of Smidgen the Snack Cake," "Playing Doctor," "Serial Killer vs. E-Merica," "My Cannibal Lover," "Zinzizinzizinzic," "One Awake in All the World," "Give the Hippo What He Wants," "Teacher of the Century," "Off the Face of the Earth," "Something Borrowed, Something Doomed," "The Cross-Dressing Cosmic Cortez Rubs Off," "Star Sex," "Messiah 2.0," "Lenin of the Stars," "The Shrooms of Benares," "Beware the Black Battlenaut," and "Killer Bod."
Meet Cary Beacon, a super-hero in his own mind. Cary's mission to rescue his kidnapped step-kids leads him to Mexico, where he teams up with El Yucatango, a gonzo masked wrestler on a mission of vengeance. As Cary and El Yucatango fight the battle of their lives to save the kids, Cary's disappearance forces together his fractured family back home, torn apart by a fiery tragedy years ago. The parallel quests of Cary and his family link to an explosive moment in true-life history: the KKK's 1924 siege of the immigrant mining town of Lilly, Pennsylvania, which left a curse on the Beacon family. Can delusional Cary break the curse? If he and his siblings reunite as their childhood backyard alter egos, The Nuclear Family, maybe they stand a chance. Don't miss this action-packed super-hero tale with a difference, available here as an e-book for the first time. Welcome to the latest shocker from Robert Jeschonek, whose work for DC Comics laid the foundation for this thrilling new adventure.
Once upon a galaxy, a spaced-out writer launched a novel exploring a starry saga set in a universe much like a certain trek we know and love. Here, for the first time, you can experience this voyage into trekkerness. The names are new, but you might recognize the drama and excitement of an epic encounter aboard the star cruiser Exogenesis as it pioneers humanity's journey to greatness among the stars. In this adventure, first contact with the multilingual Vox species goes horribly wrong when the crew's linguist mistakenly uses a forbidden slur. Drawn into a violent revolution, a “war of words” to decide language dominance, the crew of the Exogenesis races against time to convince the aliens to unite against a greater threat: an unstoppable invasion fleet roaring toward planet Vox from deep space. When revolution and invasion collide, it is up to Captain Joshua Swift and the Exogenesis crew to save the world by revealing the secret behind the slur that started it all…the dark secret linking Vox and invaders in an ancient cycle of slavery, suffering, lies, and death. Don't miss this exciting lost novel by award-winning Star Trek author Robert Jeschonek, a master of unique and unexpected science fiction that really packs a punch.
The Red Battlenauts show no mercy. Roaring out of the darkness of deep space, these ultra-high tech war machines pound the hell out of both sides in a bloody interstellar civil war. No one can even SEE the Reds--no one except Marine Corporal Solomon Scott. Recruited by the hardcore SEAL-like Diamondbacks, Scott becomes a secret weapon in the ultimate struggle for survival. In battle after battle on perilous alien worlds, Scott and the Diamondbacks fight back against the ruthless Reds, desperately holding the line in furious clashes of muscle and metal. But when a face from the past exposes the secrets behind the carnage, a quest for answers becomes a race against time. Because the masters of the Red Battlenauts have more on their minds than a thirst for conquest...and only Solomon Scott can hope to stand against them. In the galaxy's darkest hour, the highest stakes imaginable drive this hero in Battlenaut armor to seize his destiny. But can he overcome a soul-searing betrayal that strikes out of nowhere like the Reds themselves? Only by crushing the monsters of his own dark past can Scott vanquish the forces blasting humanity to the brink of annihilation. Don't miss this exciting sequel to BEWARE THE BLACK BATTLENAUT by award-winning storyteller Robert Jeschonek, a master of hard-hitting science fiction that really packs a punch. Strap yourself into the cockpit for OVER 100,000 WORDS OF BLISTERING ALL-NEW MILITARY SF ACTION!
In these pages, you will witness some of the most twisted, mysterious, and thrilling stories ever to bloody a crime scene. Meet Johnny Murder, the baddest bad guy ever to rise from the dead on Bourbon Street (or did he?)...Jean-Claude, a waiter who'll do anything to turn the tables on the competition...Buddy, the nastiest home invader ever to cross a threshold with knife in hand...Sister Mayhem, nun turned crimefighter...Mr. Mayflower, who'll trade the cure for cancer in exchange for dirty deeds done at his command...and Eve, the first detective in history, on the trail of the killer of her son, Abel. Don't miss these edgy, exciting, and surprising crime tales from award-winning storyteller Robert Jeschonek, a master of unique and unexpected crime and mystery fiction that really packs a punch. This volume includes six crime e-book stories and novelettes for one low price, including "Home Invasion," which you won't find anywhere else.
In these pages, Robert Jeschonek will take you on a tour of the wildest places and people you've never imagined. You've never met anyone quite like Nona Stiletto, the sexy cyborg exterminator who takes on a planet of alien monsters...Thal Simoleon, baseball player of the future, condemned to death for losing the world series...Cilla Franklin, an American teacher whose students are naked killer savages…Mike the Future Man, a high tech time traveler fighting to find a missing child...Vicky Dozen, the bioengineering genebilly whipping up rhinoporcupines in Best Virginia…or Philippa the cross-dressing Conquistadora of outer space. Don't miss these edgy, exciting, and surprising science fiction tales by a Star Trek and Doctor Who author. It’s the latest collection from award-winning storyteller Robert Jeschonek, a master of unique and unexpected science fiction that really packs a punch. This volume includes six scifi e-book stories and novelettes for one low price.
In these pages, Robert Jeschonek will take you on a tour of the wildest places and people you've never imagined. You've never met anyone quite like Tizona, the talking sword of the Spanish warrior El Cid...Omar Wild, the dying jazzman whose tunes foretell the future...Terpsichore the muse, who creates a monster when she makes a certain piper a medieval idol...Virgil the mind reader, who sees terrifying visions through the eyes of his true love...Alice, who finds that Wonderland can be a nightmare for grown-ups...and Vincent, an artist haunted by creatures with top hats for heads. Don't miss these edgy, exciting, and surprising fantasy tales by a Doctor Who author who was nominated for the British Fantasy Award. It’s the latest collection from award-winning storyteller Robert Jeschonek, a master of unique and unexpected science fiction that really packs a punch. This volume includes six fantasy e-book stories and novelettes for one low price.
In these pages, you will thrill to some of the most exciting superhero stories ever to star a caped avenger, all written by DC Comics writer Robert Jeschonek. Don't miss these edgy, exciting, and surprising tales from this award-winning storyteller. This volume includes six superhero stories for one low price: "Forced Retirement": What if Alzheimer's struck the World's Mightiest Hero? His daughter, heroic Hericane, finds out the hard way. Gripped by dementia, godlike Epitome tears apart a city, and no one can stop him. Will his madness destroy the entire world? Not if Hericane recruits the one big gun who stands a chance in Hell of stopping her father in his tracks. But the battle of the century between the super-charged titans might just kick-start the Apocalypse instead of stopping it. "Heroes of Global Warming": The world's hottest hero has gone rogue! In an age of global warming, super-heated hero Skillet looks like a lukewarm loser. But when his teammates, the Castigators, turn their backs on him, he turns the Castigators into prey. Let the hunt begin! Skillet becomes public enemy number one as he rounds up his former allies. But the secret plan behind his hunt might just save the world. "Forced Betrayal": Who murdered the girlfriend of the World's Mightiest Heroine? Super-powered Hericane will stop at nothing to find out who killed the woman she loved. But when she teams with Bonnie Taggart, internal affairs investigator for the Superhuman Protectorate, the search leads in unexpected directions. Fighting their way through the darkest corners of Isosceles City, Hericane and Bonnie tear the truth from criminal chimpanzees, crooked promoters, and hateful cops, only to fall prey to a terrible trap. "The Wife Who Never Was": What happens when a truly super hero loses the love of his life in the continuity overhaul of his fictional universe? Mighty Pinnacle's super memory won't let him forget his lost marriage to Doris Dane, and his aching heart drives him to search everywhere for a way to bring her back. But all his power might not be enough when he runs up against a force from beyond his world, an enemy with the secret to his suffering. "Forced Partnership": Hero-on-sidekick violence explodes in this hard-hitting super-hero tale. Why does Partycrasher, dark avenger of the night, give his sidekick the beating of a lifetime? Could it be the cowled crusader has fallen under the influence of sexy reformed bad girl Linda Loveblind, aka Partygirl? Or has the sidekick truly committed a heinous crime for which there can be no forgiveness? Maybe the answer is none of the above. "A Matter of Size": Who is killing the world's smallest super-heroes? Down-on-his-luck masked avenger Man-Child takes the case, but can he save the remaining Small Wonders from a killer with a twisted crush fetish? Man-Child takes on villainous Mammon and Stigmata without missing a beat, but his own dark secret might be enough to bring him down for good.
A new master of dreams rules the night, battling nightmares from beyond the edge of reality! The godlike Dream Lord keeps the Dream Zone safe from the terrors of the night. But when the Bogeyman strikes, Dream Lord meets his greatest enemy, a force of evil determined to turn all existence into a nightmare from which no one will ever awaken. Dream Lord declares war, but Bogeyman buries him under the weight of his own secrets. Can Dream Lord overcome his own dark past to redeem his tragic soul and become the true hero and legend he needs to be? Can he triumph over Bogeyman and make the Dream Zone safe for humanity? As the sins of his past bring Dream Lord to his knees, an unexpected ally from the razor's edge of sanity could be the only hope for his future. Don't miss this exciting graphic novel script by award-winning storyteller and DC Comics writer Robert Jeschonek, a master of unique and unexpected superhero adventures that really pack a punch. The author of the FORCED HEROICS stories brings you another epic saga of twisted heroes and villains unlike any you've ever met.
Judd the popular 17-year-old jock has it all figured out. He's the star of his school, the top of the heap...but then the world starts changing around him and won't stop. Without explanation, everyone turns into purple furries...then gas-blasting puffballs...then neurotic lizards. Every time Judd falls asleep, he wakes up in a new and crazier world--a world of godlike super-teens, teenage serial killers, duck people, nudists, monsters, and more. It's like a twisted video game without rhyme or reason. The rules never stop changing, and the only thing he can depend on is his talking pinky finger with a major attitude. Together, he and Pinkerton (the finger prefers the name "Killdigit!") fight through the parade of crazy realities, seeking a way to get back to normal. But what if normal just isn't an option anymore? Don't miss this wild fantasy by the award-winning author of MY FAVORITE BAND DOES NOT EXIST, which won the Forward National Literature Award and was named a Top Ten First Novel for Youth by BOOKLIST.