Somewhere in the world, a genius builds a machine to bring mankind closer to God. Somewhere in time, another genius builds a cathedral with a mind of its own. Somewhere on the road, three searchers race a serial killer to find the man with the key to salvation. It takes the sound and fury of Day 9 to bring them all together. If God took six days to make the world and rested on Day 7, humanity has spent Day 8 tearing it all apart. Everything changes on Day 9, when we get it right at any cost…or lose everything. On Day 9, a God’s-eye view of the world collides with the visions of a living, breathing cathedral in a war between the delusions of yesterday and the dreams of tomorrow. A war between beauty and mediocrity…love and hate…madness and sanity…life and death. If the unlikely heroes in the heart of the storm can’t face down their own demons, the deepest secrets of maniacs and murderers could bring the hope of the future crashing down forever. Don't miss this edgy, exciting, surprising, and thought-provoking thriller in the tradition of Tim Burton, the Coen Brothers, Thomas Pynchon, and Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. It’s the latest novel from award-winning storyteller Robert Jeschonek, a master of unique and unexpected fiction that packs a punch.
Sixteen-year-old Charlie West has nowhere left to turn. A cyberstalker named Conscience has made her life a nightmare, bullying her by remote control. But in Charlie’s darkest hour, she discovers Nil, a radical underground movement using guerilla tactics to crush the worst bullies around. Charlie joins Nil and works high-risk missions, taking down bullies while playing a deadly cat-and-mouse game with her stalker. But when a trusted ally betrays Nil from within, Charlie must stand alone against Conscience...and her high-stakes war against the ultimate bully might just force her to make the ultimate sacrifice. Don't miss this story by award-winning young adult writer Robert Jeschonek, a master of unique and unexpected books that really pack a punch.
Jonah Ivory has a family tree crawling with vampires. Guided by the sexy paranormal genealogist Stanza Miracolo, he must dig up his family's twisted roots to crack an ancient conspiracy and beat the forces of darkness to a lost paradise. As Stanza traces Jonah's undead family tree, she brings him and his cousin Mavis face to face with one vampire ancestor after another. In a wild hunt around the world, they search for the shocking answers to an ancient mystery, all while fighting for their lives against bloodsucking enemies who attack from the shadows. Even with a vampiric Shakespeare and King Arthur on their side, can Stanza and Jonah win an eternal war between ancestors and descendants for possession of a heaven stolen by sin? Don't miss this thrilling and romantic vampire epic now available from Pie Press. Award-winning fantasy writer Robert Jeschonek will take you on a tour of the secret vampire empire that thrives all around us...and rises up to take our world by storm in a blood-drenched crimson tide.
Where do superstars go when they die? A special Heaven, of course, where the music and parties go on forever. But when Stag the movie star gets there, he soon discovers that all is not as it seems. Hidden horrors lurk around every corner, and every angel has a devil inside. Worst of all, a deadly menace brews in Heaven's heart, a force of pure evil about to turn both Heaven and Earth into full-on, blistering hells. When Stag learns the truth, he teams up with the greatest dead rock stars, rappers, and movie stars to take on the danger rocketing toward them...but do they stand a chance of stopping it? Angels and devils clash in an apocalyptic struggle that shakes the foundations of reality. Shocking secrets and mysteries collide, casting aside all the lies in a final conflict that could tear down Heaven and Earth...or forge a dazzling, surprising destiny in the hands of Stag and his band of superstar rebels. Don't miss this exciting novel by award-winning storyteller Robert Jeschonek, a master of hard-hitting science fiction and fantasy that really packs a punch.
Sexy private eye Gaia Charmer brings new meaning to the words "Earth Angel." This mysterious (and bipolar) bombshell has the power of the Earth itself at her fingertips, but the murder of her best friend knocks her world off its axis. Out for blood on the killer’s trail, Gaia and a tough-as-nails rock hound sheriff must overcome Landkind--a secret society of movers and shakers with the hearts and minds of landforms (mountains, rivers, islands, etc.)--and a vicious enemy with the key to her true identity. She risks everything to reclaim her legacy as Mother Earth in human form. A woman with the weight of the world on her shoulders in more ways than one. Don't miss this edgy, exciting, and surprising paranormal urban fantasy by award-winning storyteller Robert Jeschonek, a master of unique and unexpected fantasy that really packs a punch.
What if you could have someone legally declared a dick? Simon Bellerophon does just that! When pain in the butt Horne Shaw pushes him too far, Simon sues to have him branded a dick...and wins, in the craziest court case ever. But that's just the beginning of this out-there, in-your-face comedy. If you love TV shows like Family Guy and South Park or websites like Funny Or Die, you'll love Dick By Law. Don't miss this crazy novel by award-winning storyteller Robert Jeschonek, a master of unique and unexpected comedy that really packs a punch.
Who killed Polish Lou, the famous Prince of Polka Music? His daughter, musicologist Lottie Kachowski, comes home to the polka heartland of New Krakow, Pennsylvania, to find the answer. Lottie has an unbeatable talent for using music to solve crimes, and she does just that on the trail of her father's killer. But the stakes turn deadlier than ever when another polka legend comes to a tragic end. As the danger rises, Lottie recruits her father's wacky girlfriend, Polish Peg, to help her dig deeper into the wild world of small town polka. The investigation takes some fancy footwork, as Lottie dances her way through a maze of local rivalries and alliances to unearth the darkest secrets of friends and neighbors. At the same time, she fights to keep from getting dragged back into the polka scene she left behind long ago, though her father's will names her his successor as head of his polka empire. Ducking her legacy while catching a killer is the challenge of a lifetime, but with help from Polish Peg, an old boyfriend, and a mysterious cat called Ghost, Lottie might just stand a chance of cracking the case. She puts everything on the line, even as the killer puts her in his sights, and she won't give up. Because when you've got polka in your blood, you just know the bad guy's going to face the music. Don't miss this thrilling tale from the master of mystery, Robert Jeschonek. Expect the unexpected in the first book in the Lottie Kachowski series.
How can a teenage girl who’s afraid of the water become queen of a kingdom above and beneath the sea? Raised on savage Shark Island, Cryssa Seachild escapes to her true home, a tropical Camelot protected by talking dolphin knights in shining armor. A dolphin knight named Seek helps Cryssa overcome her fear of the water and forge a new destiny as queen of land and sea...but Cryssa struggles with her dual heritage, torn between the ways of dolphins and sharks. When the people of Shark Island spring a trap to steal back Cryssa, her world explodes in a war between armies of human warriors and sea creatures. Cryssa must risk everything to end the war single-handedly, save the dolphin knight she loves, and forge a brighter tomorrow for the clashing kingdoms. A thrilling fantasy of adventure, love, coming of age, and talking dolphins by award-winner Robert Jeschonek, author of the young readers' novel My Favorite Band Does Not Exist.
In these pages, Robert Jeschonek will take you on a tour of the wildest places and people you've never imagined. Don't miss these 18 edgy, exciting, and surprising science fiction tales from award-winning Star Trek and Doctor Who author Robert Jeschonek, a master of unique and unexpected science fiction that really packs a punch. This volume includes 18 stories originally published in Six Scifi Stories volumes 1-3. All 18 of these scifi stories and novelettes are available here for one low price: "The Greatest Serial Killer in the Universe," "The Love Quest of Smidgen the Snack Cake," "Playing Doctor," "Serial Killer vs. E-Merica," "My Cannibal Lover," "Zinzizinzizinzic," "One Awake in All the World," "Give the Hippo What He Wants," "Teacher of the Century," "Off the Face of the Earth," "Something Borrowed, Something Doomed," "The Cross-Dressing Cosmic Cortez Rubs Off," "Star Sex," "Messiah 2.0," "Lenin of the Stars," "The Shrooms of Benares," "Beware the Black Battlenaut," and "Killer Bod."
Meet Cary Beacon, a super-hero in his own mind. Cary's mission to rescue his kidnapped step-kids leads him to Mexico, where he teams up with El Yucatango, a gonzo masked wrestler on a mission of vengeance. As Cary and El Yucatango fight the battle of their lives to save the kids, Cary's disappearance forces together his fractured family back home, torn apart by a fiery tragedy years ago. The parallel quests of Cary and his family link to an explosive moment in true-life history: the KKK's 1924 siege of the immigrant mining town of Lilly, Pennsylvania, which left a curse on the Beacon family. Can delusional Cary break the curse? If he and his siblings reunite as their childhood backyard alter egos, The Nuclear Family, maybe they stand a chance. Don't miss this action-packed super-hero tale with a difference, available here as an e-book for the first time. Welcome to the latest shocker from Robert Jeschonek, whose work for DC Comics laid the foundation for this thrilling new adventure.
The Red Battlenauts show no mercy. Roaring out of the darkness of deep space, these ultra-high tech war machines pound the hell out of both sides in a bloody interstellar civil war. No one can even SEE the Reds--no one except Marine Corporal Solomon Scott. Recruited by the hardcore SEAL-like Diamondbacks, Scott becomes a secret weapon in the ultimate struggle for survival. In battle after battle on perilous alien worlds, Scott and the Diamondbacks fight back against the ruthless Reds, desperately holding the line in furious clashes of muscle and metal. But when a face from the past exposes the secrets behind the carnage, a quest for answers becomes a race against time. Because the masters of the Red Battlenauts have more on their minds than a thirst for conquest...and only Solomon Scott can hope to stand against them. In the galaxy's darkest hour, the highest stakes imaginable drive this hero in Battlenaut armor to seize his destiny. But can he overcome a soul-searing betrayal that strikes out of nowhere like the Reds themselves? Only by crushing the monsters of his own dark past can Scott vanquish the forces blasting humanity to the brink of annihilation. Don't miss this exciting sequel to BEWARE THE BLACK BATTLENAUT by award-winning storyteller Robert Jeschonek, a master of hard-hitting science fiction that really packs a punch. Strap yourself into the cockpit for OVER 100,000 WORDS OF BLISTERING ALL-NEW MILITARY SF ACTION!
Alice has had a lousy life since she left Wonderland. All grown up and trapped in an unhappy marriage, she longs to escape. But when she finally manages to leap through the mirror, she gets one twisted shock after another. What ever happened to the crazy, charming Wonderland of her youth? This time, the Mad Hatter, Cheshire Cat, Mock Turtle, Humpty Dumpty, Tweedledum and Tweedledee are out for blood. Something has warped the magical mystery realm, sending Alice reeling from one close shave to the next. And when she gets her day in the Queen of Hearts' court, the verdict could be even more awful than "Off with her head!" Can a grown-up Alice survive the nightmare and escape her demented Wonderland? Or would she be better off staying in the lesser of two hells? The trip home could be a real killer. Don't miss this twisted dark fantasy tale from award-winning storyteller Robert Jeschonek, a master of mind-bending fantasy.
Eve, the first woman in the world, wants one thing. To find out who killed her son, Abel, and make them pay. Down on her luck since she got thrown out of Eden, Eve combs the darkest corners of a godless no man's land on the trail of a killer. Could her own flesh and blood hold the key? Or has her own worst enemy slithered back into her life to finish what he started in the Garden? When Eve becomes the first detective in history, she might end up dead before she can solve the first murder mystery of all time. And snakeskin might be the last thing that flashes before her eyes. Don't miss this exciting tale by award-winning storyteller Robert Jeschonek, a master of unique and unexpected fantasy and mystery tales that really pack a punch.
Step back in time to Easter, 1935 at Glosser Bros. Department Store in Johnstown, Pennsylvania. The display windows bloom with brightly colored decorations, and the smell of roasting peanuts fills the air. Each child gets a free baby chick for the holiday, and a rabbit comes with the purchase of each boys’ suit. When eight-year-old Owen Talisman gets his free (yet priceless) Easter pets, life with his special new bunny takes a surprising twist that changes everything. Decades later, Owen faces another turning point, one that could take away his hopes and dreams forever. But his great-grandson, and the magic of Easter at Glosser’s, refuse to give up on him. Don't miss this new Easter classic by Robert Jeschonek, award-winning author of LONG LIVE GLOSSER’S and CHRISTMAS AT GLOSSER’S.
In these pages, you will witness some of the most twisted, mysterious, and thrilling stories ever to bloody a crime scene. Meet Johnny Murder, the baddest bad guy ever to rise from the dead on Bourbon Street (or did he?)...Jean-Claude, a waiter who'll do anything to turn the tables on the competition...Buddy, the nastiest home invader ever to cross a threshold with knife in hand...Sister Mayhem, nun turned crimefighter...Mr. Mayflower, who'll trade the cure for cancer in exchange for dirty deeds done at his command...and Eve, the first detective in history, on the trail of the killer of her son, Abel. Don't miss these edgy, exciting, and surprising crime tales from award-winning storyteller Robert Jeschonek, a master of unique and unexpected crime and mystery fiction that really packs a punch. This volume includes six crime e-book stories and novelettes for one low price, including "Home Invasion," which you won't find anywhere else.
In these pages, Robert Jeschonek will take you on a tour of the wildest places and people you've never imagined. You've never met anyone quite like Nona Stiletto, the sexy cyborg exterminator who takes on a planet of alien monsters...Thal Simoleon, baseball player of the future, condemned to death for losing the world series...Cilla Franklin, an American teacher whose students are naked killer savages…Mike the Future Man, a high tech time traveler fighting to find a missing child...Vicky Dozen, the bioengineering genebilly whipping up rhinoporcupines in Best Virginia…or Philippa the cross-dressing Conquistadora of outer space. Don't miss these edgy, exciting, and surprising science fiction tales by a Star Trek and Doctor Who author. It’s the latest collection from award-winning storyteller Robert Jeschonek, a master of unique and unexpected science fiction that really packs a punch. This volume includes six scifi e-book stories and novelettes for one low price.
Welcome to six of the most amazing fantasy stories you'll ever read. This volume includes five full-length fantasy e-book stories plus an exclusive bonus short story for one low price. The lineup includes the following fantastic tales: "Forced Retirement": What if Alzheimer's struck the World's Mightiest Hero? His daughter, heroic Hericane, finds out the hard way. Gripped by dementia, godlike Epitome tears apart a city, and no one can stop him. Will his madness destroy the entire world? Not if Hericane recruits the one big gun who stands a chance in Hell of stopping her father in his tracks. "Blazing Bodices": Hardcore adventurer Sir Algernon Hogshead takes down badass steampunks in Victorian London. But the case of a lifetime might just ruin his winning streak and his life. When his wife starts keeping mysterious secrets and bad company, Sir Hogshead craves a peek behind the velvet curtain. But he can't possibly break through the world of women...or can he? "Fear of Rain": Thanks to the sorcerous Mr. Flood, Johnstown, Pennsylvania has drowned three times...and the fourth time will be the charm. By the time he gets done flooding Johnstown, the city will vanish beneath the waves forever...unless his flood-making apprentice, Dee, has anything to say about it. "The Genie's Secret": A sexy genie held captive by a brutal master has no choice: she must obey his twisted wishes at all costs. When a federal agent with a flair for the supernatural comes to the rescue, the genie must obey her master's orders to capture and torture him. But the agent knows the genie's deepest secret, a passion so powerful it could free her forever from servitude. "Rose Head": In a world where everyone has a flower for a head, who can stop the serial killer called the Pruner? Enter Inspector Glisten, a hard-boiled, two-fisted, rose-headed cop who'll stop at nothing to cut down the Pruner. But when the trail leads to a seedy underworld he never imagined, Glisten gets in way over his rose-head. "The Duck Lover": In this special bonus story, which you won't find anywhere else, a duck fights to save the man she loves from the heartless woman who uses and abuses him. Will his broken heart drive him to destruction, or will the ducks' ultimate secret lead to his salvation in the most amazing journey of all time?
In these pages, Robert Jeschonek will take you on a tour of the wildest places and people you've never imagined. You've never met anyone quite like Heavy, the alien wheeler-dealer with a hundred faces...Imago, the stained glass robot on the trail of the last proto-Christ...Vladimir Lenin, a shapeshifting alien who starts the Communist Revolution…Father Obregon, the genetically-modified space priest...Grist Halcyon, sleepless pilot of a deadly Battlenaut war machine…or the Freedom Shell, an assistive exoskeleton with a murderous mind of its own. Don't miss these edgy, exciting, and surprising science fiction tales by a Star Trek and Doctor Who author. It’s the latest collection from award-winning storyteller Robert Jeschonek, a master of unique and unexpected science fiction that really packs a punch. This volume includes six scifi e-book stories and novelettes for one low price.
What better way to celebrate Valentine’s Day than a love poetry contest at the Glosser Bros. and Gee Bee department stores? The winner gets a shopping spree, but the best prize goes to the judges: falling in love. Sparks fly when Gee Bee girl meets Glosser Bros. boy, bringing together two great stores. But the boy from Glosser’s has a secret that could tear them apart…unless the magic of Valentine’s Day can help them see what a wonderful bargain they have in each other. If you love Glosser Bros., Gee Bee, or romance, you will love this story by the author of Long Live Glosser’s, Christmas At Glosser’s, Easter At Glosser’s, Halloween At Glosser’s, A Glosser’s Christmas Love Story, Penn Traffic Forever, and Richland Mall Rules.
In these pages, you will thrill to some of the most exciting superhero stories ever to star a caped avenger, all written by DC Comics writer Robert Jeschonek. Don't miss these edgy, exciting, and surprising tales from this award-winning storyteller. This volume includes six superhero stories for one low price: "Forced Retirement": What if Alzheimer's struck the World's Mightiest Hero? His daughter, heroic Hericane, finds out the hard way. Gripped by dementia, godlike Epitome tears apart a city, and no one can stop him. Will his madness destroy the entire world? Not if Hericane recruits the one big gun who stands a chance in Hell of stopping her father in his tracks. But the battle of the century between the super-charged titans might just kick-start the Apocalypse instead of stopping it. "Heroes of Global Warming": The world's hottest hero has gone rogue! In an age of global warming, super-heated hero Skillet looks like a lukewarm loser. But when his teammates, the Castigators, turn their backs on him, he turns the Castigators into prey. Let the hunt begin! Skillet becomes public enemy number one as he rounds up his former allies. But the secret plan behind his hunt might just save the world. "Forced Betrayal": Who murdered the girlfriend of the World's Mightiest Heroine? Super-powered Hericane will stop at nothing to find out who killed the woman she loved. But when she teams with Bonnie Taggart, internal affairs investigator for the Superhuman Protectorate, the search leads in unexpected directions. Fighting their way through the darkest corners of Isosceles City, Hericane and Bonnie tear the truth from criminal chimpanzees, crooked promoters, and hateful cops, only to fall prey to a terrible trap. "The Wife Who Never Was": What happens when a truly super hero loses the love of his life in the continuity overhaul of his fictional universe? Mighty Pinnacle's super memory won't let him forget his lost marriage to Doris Dane, and his aching heart drives him to search everywhere for a way to bring her back. But all his power might not be enough when he runs up against a force from beyond his world, an enemy with the secret to his suffering. "Forced Partnership": Hero-on-sidekick violence explodes in this hard-hitting super-hero tale. Why does Partycrasher, dark avenger of the night, give his sidekick the beating of a lifetime? Could it be the cowled crusader has fallen under the influence of sexy reformed bad girl Linda Loveblind, aka Partygirl? Or has the sidekick truly committed a heinous crime for which there can be no forgiveness? Maybe the answer is none of the above. "A Matter of Size": Who is killing the world's smallest super-heroes? Down-on-his-luck masked avenger Man-Child takes the case, but can he save the remaining Small Wonders from a killer with a twisted crush fetish? Man-Child takes on villainous Mammon and Stigmata without missing a beat, but his own dark secret might be enough to bring him down for good.